Three famous surgeons were bragging about their skills. “A man came to me who had his hand cut off,” said one. “Today that man is a concert violinist.”
“That‘s nothing,” said another. “A guy came to me who had his legs cut off. I stitched them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner.”
“I can top both of you,” said the third. “One day I came on the scene of a terrible accident. There was nothing left but a horse‘s posterior – and a pair of glasses. Today that man is seated in United States Senate.
翻译：
三个有名的外科医生正在吹嘘他们的技术。“一个人断了一只手，他来找我，”一个说，“如今那个人是个音乐会的小提琴手。”
“这算不了什么，”另一个说。“一个家伙两条腿断了，他来找我，我将它们接了回去。如今，那人是马拉松选手。”
“我比你们两个都强，”第三个说，“一天，我碰到一起可怕的车祸。除了一个马屁股，和一幅眼睛，什么都没有留下。如今，那人坐在美国参议院里。”
The absent-minded professor shouted: “Kate, come to the blackboard!”
Another student says, “Kate is absent, Professor.”
“Silent! Let Kate speak for herself.”
翻译：
粗心的教授大声地喊道：“凯特，到黑板前面来！”
另外一个学生说：“教授，凯特没来。”
“别出声，让凯特自己讲。”
Teacher: Jack, why aren‘t you listening?
Jack: But, teacher, I‘m listening.
Teacher: If you were listening, tell me what I said just now.
Jack: You said, “Jack, why aren‘t you listening?”
翻译：
老师：杰克，你为什么不认真听课？
杰克：老师，我正在听课呀！
老师：如果你刚才在听课，那告诉我刚才我说的什么。
杰克：您说的是：“杰克，你为什么不认真听课？”
