Pretend Doctor
For several years, my job was to answer all viewer phone calls and mail concerning the daytime television soap operas our company produced. One day a woman called wanting medical advice from an actor who portrayed a doctor on one of our shows. I explained that the man wasn‘t a real doctor and couldn‘t help her.
After a moment of shocked silence, the woman replied indignantly, “Well, no wonder it takes his patients months to recover!”
翻译：
假医生
作为公司的前台接待员，第一天上班时，我一个接着一个地接听电话，就象那些身经百战的老接待员一样。 当一个员工走过我的桌子时，她问，“你以前干过前台的活吗？” “没有”，“我说。 “我想你就没干过。 你刚才跟打电话来的人说，‘你想找的人休假去了。你要不要等一会？’”
Would you care to hold?
There I was, my first day On the Job as a receptionist, handling one phone call after another like an old pro, when an employee stopped by my desk. “Have you ever done this before?” she asked. “No,” I said. “Thought not. You just told that caller, `The person you want is on vacation. Would you care to hold?‘”
翻译：
要等一会吗？
几年来，我的工作就是接听观众打来的电话和回复他们的邮件，他们是想了解我们公司出品的白天肥皂剧的一些情况。 一天，一位女士打来电话，要求我们一位在剧中饰演医生的演员给他一些医疗上的建议。 我解释说，那人不是真的医生，帮不了她。
在一阵惊愕的沉默之后，那位女士很气愤地说，“呃，怪不得他治病总要几个月才能好”。
The surf was too loud
Some people just aren‘t happy unless they have something to complain about. I stayed in a beautiful hotel right on the beach in California — an idyllic spot, you would think. But while I was waiting to check out, I heard the manager ask another guest, “Did you enjoy your stay?”
”Not really,” the man said grimly.
”I‘m sorry to hear that,” the manager apologized.
”What was the problem?”
”The surf was too loud.”
翻译：
海浪声太大了
除非让他们抱怨一下，要不，有些人永远不会高兴。 （有一次）我住在加州一家漂亮的海边酒店—- 你会觉得那是一个田园风景点。 但是，在我等待结账退房的时候，我听到经理问题另一名客人，“您在这住得满意吗？”
“不怎么满意” 那人一脸严峻地说。
“我很抱歉听到这个”， 经理表示了歉意。
“是有什么问题吗？”
“海浪声太大了。”
What a rat looked like
Rodents had overrun a posh private school near New York City. So the headmaster, a friend of mine, asked a health inspector to deliver a slide presentation to teachers and students, showing how to remedy the situation, i.e., stow trash, no food in class, etc.
The following day, a teacher had her very young children write a letter to the inspector, thanking him for the visit. One of the students wrote, “Dear Mr. Johnson, Thank you for coming to my school. Until I saw you, I didn‘t know what a rat looked like.”
翻译：
老鼠是什么样子的
啮齿类动物在纽约市附近的一家时尚的私立学校泛滥成灾。 那家学校的校长（我的一个朋） 请来了一位健康检查员来给在校师生作一次幻灯演示，告诉他们如何处理这种情况，如，要垃圾装好，上课不能吃东西等等。
第二天，一个老师让她的那些年纪还非常小的学生给那位检查员写封信，感谢他的来访。 其中一个学生这样写道，“亲爱的 Johnson先生， 感谢您来到我的学校，在看到你之前，我还不知道老鼠长的什么样
