I learned that most people die of natural causes

 

★1. I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

 

★2. Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

★3. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

★4. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

★5. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

★6. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I‘ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

★7. Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there? I‘m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.”

★8. Why doesn‘t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

 

翻译:

★1.自从我听说“人还是死于天然原因者居多”之后,我就再也不敢拼命吃天然食品了。

★2.园艺定律:区分益草和害草的办法是,拔出来试试——如果很容易拔掉,就证明它是益草。

★3.如果放在家里的东西找不回来,最容易的办法就是去买个新的回来。

★4.你是否注意到,这年头,自从有了数码摄录机,就再也没人象以前那样老是说不明飞行物的事情了。

★5.不慎的时候只要一根火柴就足以引发森林大火,而想点燃一堆篝火却需要整整一盒火柴,真纳闷。

★6.不知道是谁第一个看见母牛,就敢说:“我要使劲挤一挤那两排倒吊着的玩意儿,流出来的是啥俺就喝啥”?

★7.不知道是谁第一个看见母鸡,就敢说:“看见那只鸡没有?我就等着吃从它屁股里面滚出来的东西。”

★8.胶水为啥就不会粘在胶水瓶里面啊?

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