1.One real man
The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives. He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely（严格地，严厉地）.
Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives‘ directions and counsel（劝告，建议） to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.
It‘s good to see, said the king, that we have one real man in the kingdom. Tell these chickenhearted（胆小的） dunces（傻瓜） why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.
Your Majesty, came the reply in a squealing voice, it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.
2.What‘s your name?
A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train. He had never seen them before,so he began:My name is Stone, and I‘m even harder than stone,so do what I tell you or there‘ll be trouble. Don‘t try any tricks with me, and then we‘ll get on well together
Then he went to each soldier one after another and asked him his name. Speak loudly so that everyone can hear you clearly, he said, and don‘t forget to call me ‘sir‘.
Each soldier told him his name, unitl he came to the last one. This man remained silent, and so Captain Stone shouted at him, When I ask you a question, answer it! I‘ll ask you again: What‘s you name, soldier?
The soldier was very unhappy, but at last he replied. My name is Stonebreaker, sir. He said nervously.
3.A New Employee
Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director‘s office.
What is the meaning of this? the director asked. When you applied for the job, you told us you had five years‘ experience. Now we discover this is the first job you ever held.
Well, the young man said, in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination.
4.The Mean Man‘s Party
The notorious（声名狼藉的，臭名昭著的） cheap skate（小气鬼） finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, “Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow（肘部，扶手） . When the door open, push with your foot.”
“Why use my elbow and foot?”
“Well, gosh,” was the reply, “You‘re not coming empty-handed, are you?”