1、The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists: two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
“We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her.”
The first man said, “You can‘t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.”
The agent replies, “Then you‘re not the right man for this job.”
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I can‘t kill my wife.”
The agent replies, “You don‘t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”
Finally, it was the woman‘s turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, “You guys didn‘t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair.”
最后轮到了候选者中的女人。她被要求杀死自己的丈夫。她拿枪进入房间。接着，外面听到了两声枪响。然后是尖叫声、撞击声、和什么东西摔在墙上的声响。再几分钟，一切都安静了。门慢慢打开，那女人站在那里。她把袖子卷起来，说：“你们这些家伙怎么不告诉我枪里没装子弹啊？我最后还是用椅子把他打死的！”（英语笑话 www.lyy5.com ）
2、An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.
Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher‘s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Your Loving Husband.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.