1.Bat Problem
Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, “You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything—-noise, spray, cats—-nothing seems to scare them away.”
Another said, “Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I’ve been had the place fumigated, and they still won’t go away.””
The third said, “I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church…haven’t seen one back since!”
翻译：
蝙蝠的问题
三个南部的牧师在一家小餐馆里吃午饭。其中的一个说道：“你们知道吗，自从夏天来临，我的教堂的阁楼和顶楼就被蝙蝠骚扰，我用尽了一切办法—-噪音、喷雾、猫—-似乎什么都不能把它们赶走。”
另外一位说：“是啊，我也是。在我的钟楼和阁楼也有好几百只。我曾经请人把整个地方用烟熏消毒一遍，它们还是赶不走。”
第三个牧师说：“我为我那里的所有蝙蝠洗礼，让它们成为教会的一员……从此一只也没有再回来过。”
2.My Wife Will Exchange Them
A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.
″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson.
″Makes no difference ″replied customer.
″What color﹖″ asked the clerk.
″Any″ he responded.
″Size﹖″
″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″
翻译：
反正我太太明天会来换的
一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。
“您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。
“没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。
“那您要什么颜色的呢？”售货员又问。
“什么颜色都成。”他回答。
“号码呢？”
“您就随便给我拿一副吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”
3.All Except the Music
A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, “Have you enjoyed yourself today?”
“Oh, yes, miss!” said Sally, “It was lovely. All except the music, that is.”
翻译：
除了音乐
一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐，就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象，她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候，她问小萨莉：“你今天玩得好吗？”
“噢，好极了，小姐，” 萨莉说，“除了音乐其它都很好。”
