Beware of dog 小心有狗

Beware of dog

As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, “Danger! Beware of dog!” posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. “Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?” he asked the owner. “Yep, that‘s him,” came the reply. The stranger couldn‘t help but be amused. “That certainly doesn‘t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?” “Because,” the owner explained, “Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!”


一名陌生人走进一家乡间小商店,看到玻璃门上帖着的一个告示牌上写着,“危险! 小心有狗!” 进去后,他看到一条样子一点都不凶的老狗趴在收款机旁边的地板上睡觉。 “这就是大伙都得留神的那只狗啊?” 陌生人问店主。“是,就是他”,店主回答。 听到这个回答, 陌生人觉得很好笑。“我觉得那条狗一点都不可怕。 你帖那个告示做什么?” “因为,” 店主解释说,“在我帖告示之前, 大伙老被他绊倒。”


Stupid Orders


When Nasreddin was a boy, he never did what he was told, so his father always told him to do the opposite of what he wanted him to do. One day, when the two were bringing sacks of flour home on their donkeys, they had to cross a shallow river. When they were in the middle of it, one of the sacks on Nasreddin‘s donkey began to slip, so his father said, “That sack is nearly in the water! Press down hard on it!” His father of course expected that he would do the opposite, but this time Nasreddin did what his father had told him to do. He pressed down on the sack and it went under water. Of course, the flour was lost. “What have you done, Nasreddin,” his father shouted angrily. “Well, father,” said Nasreddin. “This time I thought that I would do just what you told me to show you how stupid your orders always are.”



当纳斯雷金还是个孩子时,从来不按照别人所说的去做。所以他爸爸想要他去做某事时,常叫他做相反的事。 一天,父子俩用毛驴驮着几袋面粉往家走,路上必须经过一条不深的小河。父子俩走到河中心时,纳斯雷金牵的那头毛驴上有一袋面粉开始往下滑了。他爸爸说:“那个袋子快掉进水里了,使劲往下按!”他爸爸当然是希望他象以往一样,干和他所说的相反的事。可这次纳斯雷金却按照他爸爸所说的去做了。他使劲一按,袋子沉进水里了。当然,这袋面也没有了。 他爸爸愤怒地喊道:“你干的什么事!” 纳斯雷金说:“嗯,爸爸,这次我想按你所要求的去做,好证明你以往的命令是多么的愚蠢。”


I took off from work

My personnel-management class consisted mainly of adult, working students. One night while discussing job enrichment, the teacher asked if any of us would be happy doing what we did that day for the rest of our lives. A student in the back raised his hand. Surprised, the teacher asked him, “What did you do today?” Smiling, he said, “I took off from work.”




nobody available

I was going to bed the other night when my wife told me that I had left the light on in the shed. She could see from the bedroom window. As I looked for myself, I saw that there were people in the shed taking things. I phoned the police, but they told me that no one was in this area to help at this time, but they would send someone over as soon as they were available. I said ok, hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back. “Hello. I just called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don‘t have to worry about them now cause I‘ve shot them all.” Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an armed response unit, the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said: “I thought you said that you‘d shot them!” I replied with “I thought you said there was nobody available!”



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