Funny sentences:I asked God for a bike

★I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn‘t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.


★I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather… Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

★Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

★The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it‘s still on the list.

★Some people are like Slinkies… not really good for anything, but you can‘t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

★We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

★I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

★Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening‘, and then proceed to tell you why it isn‘t.

★Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

★If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

★Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.


★I didn‘t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

★Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?



★开始我直接求上帝赐辆自行车。 后来我琢磨上帝办事儿不是这个路数。 于是老子偷了一辆然后求上帝宽恕。




★有些人就像 Slinkies(弹簧玩具),没什么实在用处,但看他们在楼梯上倒腾来倒腾去还是很有喜感。














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