I was bending over to wipe up a spill on the kitchen floor when my wife walked into the room behind me. “See anything you like?” I asked suggestively.
”Yeah,” she said. “You doing housework.”
Shortly after graduating from veterinary school, I rode with my mother in the Michigan Trail Riders‘ annual trek across state. Late one afternoon, I was summoned to look at a horse that had reared up and flipped over in his trailer. Fortunately the horse was not seriously injured, but some lacerations needed stitching.
As I worked, I heard my mother chatting with the perturbed owner. “Don‘t worry, sir,” she said. “My daughter‘s a great vet. She‘ll fix your horse up just fine.”
”That‘s good to hear,” said the man. “How long has she been a vet?”
”A week,” replied my mother, proudly. Then hastily she added, “But she‘s been embroidering since she was eight years old.”
Only gravedigger in town
One of my students could not take my college seminar final exam because of a funeral. No problem, I told him. Make it up the following week. That week came, and again he couldn‘t take the test due to another funeral. “You‘ll have to take the test early next week,” I insisted. “I can‘t keep postponing it.”
”I‘ll take the test next week if no one dies,” he told me. By now I was suspicious.
”How can you have so many people you know pass away in three weeks?”
”I don‘t know any of these people,” he said. “I‘m the only gravedigger in town.”
我的一个学生因为要出席葬礼不能参加学校的中段考。 “没问题”，我告诉他，“之后一周补考”。到了那周，他又不参加考试，因为他要参加另外一次葬礼。 “那你就下周初再考”， 我坚持说。“我不能老是往后延”。
The son of a friend graduated from high school, so I sent a card to congratulate him. I enclosed money and scribbled some words of wisdom inside. He sent me a note back saying, “Thank you for the gift. Also thank you for the advice. My mom always told me that you are full of it.”
我一个朋友的儿子高中毕业，我给他寄了个卡表示祝贺，并在信封里面放了些钱，随意写上了几句鼓励的话。 他给我回寄一封信，上面写道，“谢谢您的礼物。 同时也感谢您的建议。我妈总是跟我说你满脑子都是这些东西 ”。