1.You Are Too Late
On the bus a man discovered a pickpocket‘s hand thrust into his pocket.
“sorry,” he said to the pickpocket, “you are too late. My wife did it before you.”
2.Beware of Dog!
As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, “Danger! Beware of dog!” posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. “Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?” he asked the owner. “Yep, that‘s him,” came the reply. The stranger couldn‘t help but be amused. “That certainly doesn‘t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?” “Because,” the owner explained, “Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!”
一名陌生人走进一家乡间小商店，看到玻璃门上帖着的一个告示牌上写着，“危险! 小心有狗!” 进去后，他看到一条样子一点都不凶的老狗趴在收款机旁边的地板上睡觉。 “这就是大伙都得留神的那只狗啊？” 陌生人问店主。“是，就是他”，店主回答。 听到这个回答， 陌生人觉得很好笑。“我觉得那条狗一点都不可怕。 你帖那个告示做什么？” “因为，” 店主解释说，“在我帖告示之前， 大伙老被他绊倒。
“Would you mind telling me, Doctor,” Bob asked …”how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?” “Nothing is easier,” he replied. “You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track.” ” Well, What sort of question?” “Well, you might ask him, ‘Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?‘ Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, “You wouldn‘t happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don‘t know much about history.”
“医生，你能不能告诉我，”鲍勃问，“对于一个看 上去很正常的人，你是怎样判断出他有智力缺陷的呢？”“再没有比这容易的了，”医生回答，“问他一个简单的问题，简单到所有人都知道答案，如果他回答得不 干脆，那你就知道是怎么回事了。”“那要问什么样的问题呢？”“嗯，你可以这样问，‘库克船长环球旅行了三次，但是在其中一次的途中他去世了，是哪一次 呢？’”鲍勃想了一会儿，紧张的回答道，“你就不能问另外一个问题吗？坦率地说，我对历史了解的不是很多。”
Tags:英语 笑话 太晚 晚了