1.The smart Old Lady
An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:‘ How much this stuff?‘
‘Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.‘
The lady said, ‘It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.‘
‘I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.‘
‘It is still too much,‘ replied the old lady, ‘give it to me for five.‘
Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles. The sight of one would always bring forth squeals（长声尖叫） of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! I‘m going to have one of those someday, his dad‘s response always was Not as long as I‘m alive.
One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, Look at that! Look at that! I‘m getting one of those as soon as my dad dies.
3.Who was the first man?
A teacher said to her class:
Who was the first man?
George Washington, a little boy shouted promptly.
How do you make out that George Washington was the first man? asked the teacher, smiling indulgently.
Because, said the little boy, he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.
But at this point a larger boy held up his hand.
Well, said the teacher to him, who do you think was the first man?
I don‘t know what his name was, said the larger boy, but I know it wasn‘t George Washington, ma‘am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him.
4.I know I could count on you
Smith goes to see his boss in the front office. “Boss,” he says: “we‘re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic（阁楼） and the garage.”
“We‘re short-handed, Smith.” the boss replies. “I can‘t give you the day off.”
“Thanks, boss,” says Smith, “I know I could count on you!”