1.An Ugly Woman
Mike: My aunt was very embarrassed when she was asked to take off her mask at the party.
Mary: Why was that?
Mike: She wasn‘t wearing one.
2.Time is money
As the taxi came to a screeching（尖叫） halt at a traffic light, I asked the driver, “Do you agree that ‘Time is money‘?”
“Well, it‘s a very common saying. Who will care so much about that?” the driver answered.
“Look, the digits in the meter（仪表） are still running when the car has stopped, “I pointed at the meter.
“Oh, yes. You‘ve got a point here. In this case, time is money for both of us.” added the driver.
3.I didn‘t need the money so badly then
Looking very unhappy, a poor man entered a doctor‘s consulting-room.
“Doctor,” he said, “you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago.”
“Good heavens, man!” said the doctor. “Why have you waited so long? Why don‘t you come to me on the day you swallowed it?”
“To tell you the truth, Doctor,” the poor man replied, “I didn‘t need the money so badly then.”
4.I never make the same mistake twice
Boy: Hi, didn‘t we go on dates before? Onec or twice?
Girl: Must‘ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.