１.A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, “Let‘s get off the corner, people.” A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, “Let‘s get off that corner…NOW!” Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction. Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, “Well, how did I do?” “Pretty good,” chuckled the veteran policemen, “especially since this is a bus stop!”
２.Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first robber said, “I hear sirens. Jump!” The second one said, “But we‘re on the 13 th floor!” The first one screamed back, “This is no time to be superstitious!”
两个盗贼在一家旅馆偷东西。第一个说：“我听到警报响了，快跳吧！” 第二个说：“但是我们现在在第13层啊！” 第一个尖叫着回敬他：“都什么时候了，还这么迷信！”
３.In the back woods of Tennessee, a hillbilly‘s wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, “Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing.” Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. “Hey there,” said the doctor, “Don‘t be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there‘s another one coming.” Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. “Hold that lantern up, don‘t set it down there‘s another one!” said the doctor. Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby. “No, don‘t be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there‘s yet another one coming!” cried the doctor. The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, “You reckon it might be the light that‘s attracting them?
在田纳西州丛林的深处，一个乡下人的妻子半夜时分临产，一名医生被叫来帮手接生。 因为那个地方没有通电，医生把灯笼递给那个快要当爸爸的农夫，说，“把这个高高举着，这样，我好干活”。 很快，一名男婴降临到这人世界上。 “嘿”，医生说，“别着急把灯笼放下来，我觉得还有一个小孩要生出来。”，果然，没几分钟，医生又接生了一个婴儿，这回是个女孩。“灯笼举高点，不要坐下来，还有”，医生说。 又过了几分钟，第三个孩子降生了。 “别，别着急放下灯笼，看来，还有一个要出来!”，医生不由得惊叫起来。 乡下人挠头抓耳，不明白是怎么回事，于是问医生，“你觉得是不是，这些小家伙看到光所以爬出来了？”（英语笑话带翻译 www.lyy5.com ）
４.Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. “Boss,” he says, “we‘re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.””We‘re short-handed, Smith” the boss replies. “I can‘t give you the day off.” “Thanks, boss,” says Smith “I knew I could count on you!”