Be Open to life Anyway 无论如何 都要张开双臂拥抱生活

Dear Seth,

  [1] You’re only three years old, and at this point in your life you can‘t read, much less understand what I’m going to try to tell you in this letter. But I‘ve been thinking a lot about the life that you have ahead of you, about my life so far as I reflect on what I‘ve learned, and about my role as a dad in trying to prepare you for the trials that you will face in the coming years.

  [2] You won‘t be able to understand this letter today, but someday, when you‘re ready, I hope you will find some wisdom and value in what I share with you.

  [3] You are young, and life has yet to take its toll on you, to throw disappointments and heartaches and loneliness and struggles and pain into your path. You have not been worn down yet by long hours of thankless work, by the slings and arrows of everyday life.

  [4] For this, be thankful. You are at a wonderful stage of life. You have many wonderful stages of life still to come, but they are not without their costs and perils.

  [5] I hope to help you along your path by sharing some of the best of what I‘ve learned. As with any advice, take it with a grain of salt. What works for me might not work for you.

  Life Can Be Cruel

  [6] There will be people in your life who won‘t be very nice. They‘ll tease you because you‘re different, or for no good reason. They might try to bully you or hurt you.

  [7] There‘s not much you can do about these people except to learn to deal with them, and learn to choose friends who are kind to you, who actually care about you, who make you feel good about yourself. When you find friends like this, hold on to them, treasure them, spend time with them, be kind to them, love them.

  [8] There will be times when you are met with disappointment instead of success. Life won‘t always turn out the way you want. This is just another thing you‘ll have to learn to deal with. But instead of letting these things get you down, push on. Accept disappointment and learn to persevere, to pursue your dreams despite pitfalls. Learn to turn negatives into positives, and you‘ll do much better in life.

  [9] You will also face heartbreak and abandonment by those you love. I hope you don‘t have to face this too much, but it happens. Again, not much you can do but to heal, and to move on with your life. Let these pains become stepping stones to better things in life, and learn to use them to make you stronger. 

  But Be Open to life Anyway

  [10] Yes, you‘ll find cruelty and suffering in your journey through life … but don‘t let that close you to new things. Don‘t retreat from life, don‘t hide or wall yourself off. Be open to new things, new experiences, new people.

  [11] You might get your heart broken 10 times, but find the most wonderful woman the 11th time. If you shut yourself off from love, you‘ll miss out on that woman, and the happiest times of your life.

  [12] You might get teased and bullied and hurt by people you meet … and then after meeting dozens of jerks, find a true friend. If you close yourself off to new people, and don‘t open your heart to them, you‘ll avoid pain … but also lose out on meeting some incredible people, who will be there during the toughest times of your life and create some of the best times of your life.

  [13] You will fail many times but if you allow that to stop you from trying, you will miss out on the amazing feeling of success once you reach new heights with your accomplishments. Failure is a stepping stone to success.

  Life Isn‘t a Competition

  You will meet many people who will try to outdo you, in school, in college, at work. They‘ll try to have nicer cars, bigger houses, nicer clothes, cooler gadgets. To them, life is a competition — they have to do better than their peers to be happy.

  Here‘s a secret: Life isn‘t a competition. It‘s a journey. If you spend that journey always trying to impress others, to outdo others, you’re wasting your journey. Instead, learn to enjoy the journey. Make it a journey of Happiness, of constant learning, of continual improvement, of love.

 [16] Don‘t worry about having a nicer car or house or anything material, or even a better-paying job. None of that matters a whit, and none of it will make you happier. You‘ll acquire these things and then only want more. Instead, learn to be satisfied with having enough — and then use the time you would have wasted trying to earn money to buy those things … use that time doing things you love.

    [17] Find your passion, and pursue it doggedly. Don‘t settle for a job that pays the bills. Life is too short to waste on a job you hate.

  Love Should Be Your Rule

  If there‘s a single word you should live your life by, it should be this: Love. It might sound corny, I know … but trust me, there‘s no better rule in life.

  [19] Some would live by the rule of success. Their lives will be stressful, unhappy and shallow.

 [20] Others would live by the rule of selfishness — putting their needs above those of others. They will live lonely lives, and will also be unhappy.

  [21] Still others will live by the rule of righteousness — trying to show the right path, and admonishing anyone who doesn‘t live by that path. They are concerned with others, but in a negative way, and in the end will only have their own righteousness to live with, and that‘s a horrible companion.

  [22] Live your life by the rule of love. Love your spouse, your children, your parents, your friends, with all of your heart. Give to them what they need, and show them not cruelty nor disapproval nor coldness nor disappointment, but only love. Open your soul to them.

  Love not only your loved ones, but your neighbors … your coworkers … strangers … your brothers and sisters in humanity. Offer anyone you meet a smile, a kind word, a kind gesture, a helping hand.

  [24] Love not only neighbors and strangers … but your enemy. The person who is cruelest to you, who has been unkind to you … love him. He is a tortured soul, and most in need of your love.

  [25] And most of all, love yourself. While others may criticize you, learn not to be so hard on yourself, to think that you’re ugly or dumb or unworthy of love … but to think instead that you are a wonderful human being, worthy of Happiness and love … and learn to love yourself for who you are.

  [26] Finally, know that I love you and always will. You are starting out on a weird, scary, daunting, but ultimately incredibly wonderful journey, and I will be there for you when I can. Godspeed.






    [1] 你现在仅仅3岁,此刻你还不识字,更不用说让你去理解我接下来想在这封信里对你所说的话了。但是我已经苦思冥想了好久,关于你即将面临的人生以及我的生活,我反思我所学会的;思考一个父亲的职责,力图让你为未来岁月中即将面临的困难做好充分准备。

  [2] 你今天并不能理解这封信的含义,但是某一天,当时机成熟,我希望你能在我与你分享的内容当中找寻到些许的智慧和价值。

  [3] 你还很年轻,生命还尚未开始摧残你,没有在你的人生道路上布置失望,伤心,孤独,挣扎和苦痛。你还没有被漫长的乏味工作,被日常生活的打击搞得筋疲力尽。

  [4] 因此,谢天谢地吧。你正处在人生一个美妙的阶段。还有很多美妙的阶段会来到你面前,但是都不是唾手可得的,你都得付出代价,经历风险。

  [5] 我希望通过分享一些我所学到的最好的道理能帮助你走好人生路。至于任何建议,且把它当作佐料,因为适合我的并不一定适用于你。


  [6] 你的生活中一定会有并不友好的人。他们耻笑你因为你不同,而在没有更好的理由。他们可能会欺负你或者伤害你。

  [7] 对这种人你除了学会和其接触无计可施,同时你也要学会择友,选择那些对你友善的,那些真正关心你的,那些令你对自己感到很好的人做朋友。当你寻找到像这样的朋友,就一定要坚守这份友谊,珍惜他们,花些时间和他们在一起,友善的对待他们并爱他们。

  [8] 有时你会遭遇挫折而非成功。生活并不总会如你所愿。这是另一件你需要学会处理的事情。但你要挺住向前,而不是让这些事让你陷入低谷。接受挫败并学会坚持,不畏风险地追求你的梦想。学会把消极转化为积极,之后你就能做的好得多。

  [9] 你同样会面临心碎时刻以及你深爱的人的抛弃。我希望你无须经历太多此类事件,但如果不幸发生了,再一次,除了慢慢愈合心中的创伤并继续下去你的生活,你别无选择。让这些痛苦成为你通向更美好生活的垫脚石,并学会利用它们让自己更坚强。


  [10] 是的,在你的生命历程中你会遇到残酷,煎熬……但不要让这些让你拒绝接受新鲜事物。不要逃避生活,不要躲藏,抑或封闭自己。拥抱新鲜事物,经历全新体验,接触新的人。

  [11] 你或许心碎了10次,但是在第十一次找到至爱。如果你把自己关在爱的门外,你就会错过这个女子,和你生命中最快乐的时光。

  [12] 你可能会被你遇到的人耻笑欺负伤害…而在见了一打这种稀奇古怪的人后,你会找到一个真正的朋友。如果你拒绝接触新人群,并不向他们敞开心扉,你会避免受伤……但是同时也失去了认识这些不可思议的人的机会,他们会在你生命最困难的时刻陪伴着你,并带给你人生当中最美好的时光。

  [13] 你会失败多次但是如果你让失败打到了你,不再努力,你就会错过那种当你达到成就新高度的难以言喻的成就感。失败是成功之母。


  [14] 你会遇到一些人他们总是试图超过你,在中学,大学,在工作中。他们想要拥有更好的车,更大的房子,更好的衣物,更酷的小玩意。对他们来说,生命就是一场竞赛—他们不得不比同辈做得更好来让自己感到快乐。
  [15] 这里有一个秘诀:生命并不是一场竞赛。而是一段旅程。如果你在途中一直都试图给他人留下深刻印象,超过别人,那你就浪费了这段旅程。与之相反,学会享受它,让之成为快乐之旅,永恒的学习之旅,持久的进步之旅以及爱之旅。

  [16] 不要为拥有一辆更好的车或一所更好的房子或者任何物质的东西,即便是一份薪水更高的工作操心。这些根本无足轻重,也不会使你快乐。你可能在拥有了这些之后只是想要更多的。与之相反,学会满足你已经拥有的—然后学会利用你原本想要浪费在为挣钱买这些东西的时间去做你真正热爱的事。

    [17] 找到你的激情,坚持不懈地追求它。别让自己被一个还债的的工作所累。生命太短暂了,更不可将之浪费在你所厌恶的工作上。


  [18] 如果让一个词成为你的生活支撑的话,那它应该是爱。也许这听来已是老生常谈,我也清楚… 但是请信任我,再没有更好的生活准则了。

  [19] 一些人以成功作为生活准则。他们的生活会很紧张,不开心并且很浅薄。

  [20] 另一些人的生活准则是个人利益—他们将个人需要置于他人需要之上。他们孤独一生,终究也不会快乐。

  [21] 还有一些人他们为正义而生—努力展示其道路的正确性,并试图劝服任何一个不以正义为生活准则的人。他们关心他人,却以一种消极的方式,最终怀抱追寻一生的正义而终,而正却是一个糟糕的伴侣。

  [22] 用爱支撑你的生命。爱你的妻子,你的孩子,你的父母亲,你的朋友,全心全意地去爱。给与他们你所需要的,不要流露出任何残忍,不赞同,冷漠或者失望,只有爱。向他们敞开灵魂。

  [23] 不仅仅爱你深爱的人,也要爱你的邻居…你的同事…甚至陌生人…他们是你广义上的兄弟姐妹。给你遇到的任何一个人一个微笑,一句善语。一个友好的姿势,一只援助之手。

  [24] 不仅仅爱邻居和陌生人…也要爱你的敌人。对你最残酷的人,对曾经对你不善的人…爱他。他是一个备受折磨的灵魂,最需要你的爱。

  [25] 最重要的是爱你自己。当别人批评你时,学着不要强加自己,去认为自己丑,笨或者不值得去爱…而要想着自己是一个很完美的人,值得拥有幸福和真爱…并学会爱现在的自己。

  [26] 最后,要知道我爱你并且永远都会,你即将开启一段有点奇怪,令人害怕,令人心悸但最终很不可思议的巧妙旅程,我永远会支持你。祝万事如意。

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