★ How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
★ Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I‘ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”
★ The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
★ Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
★ Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there? I‘m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.”
★Why doesn‘t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
★ I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
★Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.