1.Prepare Yourself A story around campus has it that a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: 'Mom - flunked（不及格，失败） all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepar...

  1.You Are Too Late   On the bus a man discovered a pickpocket‘s hand thrust into his pocket. 'sorry,' he said to the pickpocket, 'you are too late. My wife did it be...

1.Mushroom and Toadstool Younger Scout: How can I tell the difference between a mushroom and a toadstool（毒菌） ? Older Scout: Just eat one before you go to bed. If you wake up ...

1.The Looney Bin Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院）one inmate shouted, 'I am Napoleon!”Another one said, 'How do you know?' The first inmate said, 'God told me!' ...

1.The lowest grade  'Professor, I did the best I could on this test. I really don‘t think I deserve a zero.'   'Neither do I. But that‘s the lowest grade I‘m allowed ...

1.Who do you think you are? The bus was crowded, and as one more man tried to get on, the passengers wouldn’t let him aboard. “It is too crowded, “they shouted.” who do you...

1.Can his football come out to play George knocked on the door of his friend‘s house. When his friend‘s mother answered he asked, 'Can Albert come out to play? ' 'No,' said the ...

  1.Make your fortune 'How did you make your fortune?' 'I became the partner of a rich man.He had the money and I had the experience.' 'How did that help?' 'Now he has the ex...

 How to Become Rich Little brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you don‘t give me a nickel I‘ll tell my father. Sister‘s boyfriend: No, don‘t do that. Here‘s ...

1.Compliment 'Larry! Come here!' said his furious mother, putting the telephone down, ' I’ve just had a call from Mrs. Harrison about your behavior to her Doris at the school ...