Give a wrong hospitality
At a dinner party a shy young man had been trying to think of something nice to say to his hostess. At last he saw his chance when she turned to him and remarked, “What a small appetite you have tonight, Mr. Jones.””To sit next to you,” he replied gallantly, “would cause any man to lose his appetite.”
While shopping for my first CD player, I was able to decipher most of the technicalese on the promotional signs. One designation had me puzzled, though, so I called over a salesperson and asked, What does ‘hybrid pulse D/A converter‘ mean?That means, she said, that this machine will read the digital information that is encoded on CDs and convert it into an audio signal – that is, into music.In other words this CD player plays CDs.Exactly.
they‘re all drowned
The great painter was asked, one day to paint a picture of Pharaoh crossing the Red Sea. A little while after the picture had been commenced, a hitch（故障） arose over the fee, and Hogarth found that he would have to complete the commission for about half the sum he expected. When the work was completed, the patron（赞助人，主顾） was asked to come and inspect it. As a matter of fact, the picture was just one daub（涂抹，涂料） of brilliant red.What‘s this? exclaimed the purchaser. I asked for the Red Sea, on the occasion of the celebrated passage.That‘s it, replied Hogarth.But, where are the Israelites?They are all gone over.Where are the Egyptians?They‘re all drowned.
A well dressed young man demanded as soon as he entered the restaurant:”Serve me, quick! Give me your best. I don‘t care the price.”Not like the way he talked, the waiter said to him: “Hey Buddy, it doesn‘t matter you have a lot of money. You are still son of somebody, and grandson of somebody else.”The young man raged: “Dare you! Tell me, who wants me to be his grandson?”The waiter replied with ease: “Nobody. Just your grandfather.”