1.Give up your seat to a lady
Little Johnny says “Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.”
“You‘ve done the right thing,” says Mommy.
“But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy‘s lap.”
2.We Left Nothing
Mrs Brown was going out for the day. She locked the house and tacked a note for the milkman on the door: NOBODY HOME. DON‘T LEAVE ANYTHING.
When she got back that night, she found her door broken open and her house ransacked（洗劫，掠夺） . On the note she had left, she found the following message added:
THANKS! WE HAVEN‘T LEFT ANYTHING!
3. the woman who loves you most?
One evening I drove my husband‘s car to the shopping mall.
On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out.‘The woman who loves
you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield.‘
My husband looked up and said, ‘Mom‘s here?‘
A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. Well, sit down and eat your tea, said his mother. Your stomach‘s hurting because it‘s empty. It‘ll be all right when you‘ve got something in it.
Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache.
That‘s because it‘s empty, said his bright son. You‘d be all right if you had something in it.